Jesse Gordon—the author, that is

I take a deep breath and walk into the kitchen. Mom and Dad are seated at the far end of the dinner table. One of the few useful things to come out of my sessions with Dr. Freud (erstwhile known as Dr. Chandelier) is fake-facing—avoiding eye contac...

Better saved than sorry. (Exists in T-shirt form over @ Redbubble.)...

“Send a guy in, and he’s up to no good, he’s a thief, he doesn’t belong. But send a girl, and it’s all, ‘Oh, you poor little thing! Are you lost? Let’s help you find your parents.’ Fucking double standard!” Ernie clears his throat.

“She’s a jockette. If anything, that makes her more qualified to download into strange darknesses and unknown insinuations—” I don’t have time for this. “I’ll pay you fifty bucks if you come with me.” Ernie puts on a proud air. “You...

Ernie blinks at me. “Then…didn’t you violate your laptop by forcing Ubuntu onto it?” “I installed Ubuntu, if that’s what you mean.” “And it was consensual? Your laptop accepted it willingly?” “Well, I had to turn off Secure Boot i...

Any Dell Inspiron 7559 4k laptop users experiencing Windows 10 desktop animation / video playback lag should make some noise here: http://en.community.dell.com/support-forums/laptop/f/3519/t/20008070 I picked up one of these laptops a few weeks ago,...

That time I spotted my face on a sandwich board.